2009 on Recap

Less than 3 weeks, I can happily change the calendar. My company already giving away new 2010 calendars to each staff. The new calendar seems small compares to last year. Maybe try to show us that company going on tough time. That explain so much i guess.I went through my calendar, and realized so much had happened. with the bad things top up the good things, but it is sweeter that way. We won't learn so much from good incidents, whilst bad things even tough and hard, teach us lesson and make us remember who we are and how to face life. I thought its good to do a little recap on 2009.

January - Its the New Year with everything new, new baby (Dhia only 9 months), new maid, new problems....things with my ex husband (then still husband) getting worst, he was in JB and I am in KL. Being on distance relationship, which at first we thought will help things getting better, just making it worst. But I enjoy time for myself this month, went hiking and clubbing with friends. we went hiking on Mount Nuang, really scary and as someone who totally not fit like me (but I am hyper), it is difficult to make it to the top. but i enjoy it. Being close to nature, the sounds and smell of it, reminds me to be thankful to God and have faith.

February - Month of Love, but not so special for me. Just surrounded by meeting after meeting. Most of the day i'll be at the office, try to buy sometime from home, so I wont be dealing with the marital problems at all. And of course make me feel really bad towards my kid. How i regretted it now.

March - Final draw between me and husband (now ex), agreed on divorced but make a pact to go to counseling.

April - Ex came back to KL, which is according to him, he came back for good, to make things better for us. Counselling not working at all, every night end up in a bad row with him, kids very terrified and confused. oh Ex birthday this month on 9th and Dhia on 8th. Celebrated it.

May - Sweet month ever. Company paid 3 days 2 nights Team Building in Corus Paradise, Port Dickson, N.Sembilan. Started on new relationship. He is the most honest guy I ever met. I had a good feeling about this. :) My sister married on 31st. I hate wedding..but wish the best for my sis.

June - Mr.Boyfriend birthday this month. Falls on 9th. Wish him the best. First time in my life i actually really love someone. (Ek is lief vir jou) oh and can understand Afrikaans now.

July - Party heavily like animal, need to slow down.

August - Still heavily partying this month. Lucky end of the month is fasting month. Be modest and be thankful for all the food and good things that me and kiddies have.

September - Eventful month, Ex attacked Mr.Boyfriend, get dirty with police cases, tongue slashing and finally court. Things with Ex settled (not quite easily, he took Damia, after long persuasion agreed that i have both of the kids.) wish the best for Ex, hope he move on as I am. My birthday falls on 26th, Mr. Boyfriend gave ring to show I'm his and flower. and bought me peaceful dinner together (Nandos at home, sweet...)

October - Starts life with Mr. Boyfriend and the kids. Hope he gets his kids ASAP so we will be merrier, the responsibilities is tough but we make it this far, I think we doing good. We have each other.

November - Damia Birthday. Celebrated at home with my sister came to visit.

December - Looking back, even its not the proudest year, but it thoughts me a lot about life. Hope next year will be more meaningful. Good or not, looking forward to it. and I guess comparing myself and others i am LUCKY.

GOOD Parenting or SMART Parenting

"Mommy, can i have a barbie doll?", there it again, big eyes monster asking with face full of hopes. why she always appear whenever i pass through the toys department?!?

"listen baby, you have enough dolls to open up a nursery! you dont need another one ok..." and as always, i will try to negotiate.

"i want a barbie!!! i want a barbie, you are so bad, you know daddy always buy if i ask!!!!!", screaming on top of her lung now, i know i'm not a good negotiator, nor a strict mom. And she is like Veruca in Willy Wonka Factory. Always wanting things.

"I WANT BARBIE!!!!!"

oh goodness gracious, people are looking now. i wish i could just make a frowning face and tell her no, but instead of her scared of me, i am the one who dont have guts to scold her in public.

I'm not trying to spoil her, but i feel so bad for not buying for her, and it will reminisce everytime i'm away from her, at work or busy. I guess that always running on a working mom's mind. the guilty feeling of being busy at work and not having enough time for your kids.

I dont remember, i ever change into wide eyed monster whenever i went to malls with my mom, back then we always scared to ask things from parents. if they give us presents, then it would be appreciated, not ruining it in a day or left it at kindergarten like it has no value. and when they tell us no, it means no. no more words, not even a "huh!", or "ahhhhhhhhhhh...". it completely understandsble, its a no - no.

Parenting way change so much since then, now kids get to say their mind, and some even can manipulate their parents. Parents in the good old days, are more strict and some might say fierce, they caned and beat us when we cross the line, they ground us for week if we do mistake, they chillied our mouth if we say bad words, they make decisions for us. Now parents just talk to their kids, make them understand. well, if they not? this is when all of us wish we were our parents. of course, there are advantages nowadays, kids understand so fast, and some are really good in making decisions.

As for me, some things are better stay as they are but with a bit of changes, per say; we parents can make decisions but after we talk to the kids and listen to their opinion on that. then maybe, the green wide eyed monster will minimalize their appearance...????and for 'mommy-buy-me-a-barbie doll-situation' that i was in, i bought her a less expensive doll and that after she promise she will treasure it and keep it alive for 3 months.and i make sure she give me massage that night.hah! smart isnt it?

later days..