Sunday, September 18, 2005

the episode of loneliness

there's a knock on my door at 8 pm while im watching my 34'' tv with damia - remember my little vampire! i thought it was the debt collector that i always afraid for. well, i never mention it before but previously i mean a year ago we had our downtime and we have to owe someone some money. i dont know whether the debt is settle as my husband always being secretive about his financial status. anyway back to the knock on the door. as i open the door, it is my babysitter.
'what's up?', i ask.
her complexion was very pale than Boy George make up foundation.
'i'm just coming back from the hospital.just fell down in the shower.bleeding all over', she said
i was very shocked as she is pregnant for 3 weeks.
'how about the baby?'
'safe but i need to rest, in the meantime u have to find someone to take care of Damia.'

hmmm.... this is the miserable time. i just cant be separated from my baby.its not like im being clingy but just cannot sleep without her.
but had to, so i sent her to my aunt's house.

by the time i had to go home, i waved at her. she's lookin at me with a face full of confusion. i know the time has come for my tears to flow. cannot wait any longer so i left.

so... here i am. alone and miserable.hope it only take a week so i can be with my baby again.

Damia.... mummy miss u.

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